From Platform to Purpose: What My Pageant Journey Taught Me About Community Service

If you’re building a community service initiative and feeling pressure to get it “just right,” I want to tell you something I wish someone had told me when I first started competing:

Your story is enough.

In fact, it might be the most powerful part of your entire journey… not because it’s perfect, but because it’s real.

This is a story I haven’t shared in full before. But it’s the reason I believe so deeply in service work that’s rooted in healing, lived experience, and authenticity.

It’s the story of how my very first platform was born out of deep personal grief… and how that grief taught me to lead, pivot, and grow with intention.

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The Loss That Changed Everything

I was 15 when my older brother Tyler died by suicide. It happened fast – a short but devastating battle with methamphetamine that took our entire family by storm. One moment I was a freshman in high school… the next, I was the girl who had lost her brother.

At the time, I didn’t know what to do with that grief.
I buried it. I got quiet. I went through the motions.
But two years later, when I decided to compete in my first local pageant, I sat in a room and realized I had the opportunity to speak.
To share something.
To do something.

So I chose Tyler’s story.

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The First Platform: Young and On Fire

My first community service initiative wasn’t polished. It didn’t have a perfect title or professional framework. It wasn’t built from a resume – it was built from love and loss. And it mattered to me more than anything.

I traveled all over my community talking to students about drug prevention, suicide awareness, and mental health. I spoke from my own experience. I knocked on school doors. I handed out handouts. I did whatever I could to get people to listen, because I believed if sharing Tyler’s story could help even one family… it was worth it.

And it was.
But I also didn’t realize the weight I was carrying.

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The Burnout I Didn’t See Coming

After two years of competing with the same platform, I started to unravel. I was exhausted. I was still grieving. And I was unintentionally building a brand around something that was still breaking my heart.

No one told me how much secondhand grief I’d absorb from students and parents. No one warned me how hard it would be to carry something so personal, especially without the support systems and healing tools I needed at the time.

I started to feel like I wasn’t enough. Like I didn’t know “enough.” Like I couldn’t possibly speak for anyone else.
And one day, I sat across from my mom, trying to prepare for another season, and she said the words that changed everything:
“You don’t have to keep carrying this.”

I cried.
And I let go.

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The Pivot That Saved Me

For my next season of competition, I shifted platforms entirely.

I chose something lighter, something joyful, something still deeply me: Empowering Women: Mind, Body, and Soul.

I focused on confidence, mental wellness, and physical health. I awarded scholarships. I hosted women’s events. I fundraised. I felt free again – creative, inspired, full of purpose.

That year, I walked onto the Miss Wisconsin stage as a grounded, happy, healthy version of myself and I walked away as First Runner-Up… eventually assuming the title of Miss Wisconsin 2011.

I learned something huge that year:
You are allowed to evolve. You don’t have to keep carrying something that hurts just because you started with it.

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The Return (This Time, with Healing)

When I came back to compete one final time before aging out, I knew it was time to return to Tyler’s story.

But this time… I was different.
I wasn’t using his story to cope or to perform.
I was using it to connect.

Instead of focusing on statistics and “drug prevention programming,” I focused on the human side of the story.

• What it felt like to be a teenager navigating grief.
• How mental health support changed my life.
• What I wish schools and families talked about more.
• The strength it takes to speak when your voice shakes.

That final season of appearances was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. I cried in school parking lots. I sat with students who told me about their own losses. I walked teenagers to guidance counselors’ offices.

I was no longer trying to “fix” or “educate.”
I was showing up as someone who had been there. And that was enough.

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The Lesson I Now Teach Every Client

If you’re building a platform, especially one rooted in personal experience, please hear me:

💬 You don’t need to prove your pain.
💬 You don’t need to keep bleeding for people to believe you.
💬 You don’t need to hold onto a message just because it’s where you started.

You are allowed to pivot.
You are allowed to heal.
You are allowed to serve from joy instead of just pain.

Whether you’re telling your story for the first time or circling back with new perspective, your initiative should be a reflection of your current self, not just your past self.

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What I Know for Sure

Every part of my pageant journey shaped the work I do today.
From drug prevention, to mental health advocacy, to women’s empowerment, to coaching women through their own platform development – I’ve learned this over and over:

Your platform isn’t just a talking point.
It’s a reflection of your truth, your growth, and your impact.

Tyler’s story lives on through every contestant I coach. Every teen I mentor. Every person who reads this and feels seen.

And that is the real legacy.

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Need Help With Your Own Platform?

If you’re building or rebuilding your community service initiative — especially one rooted in a personal story — I’d love to walk beside you.

My clients leave coaching with:
✔ A clear, purpose-driven initiative
✔ Strategic language for paperwork & interview
✔ A grounded mindset around their “why”
✔ A toolkit for sustainable advocacy (without burnout)

Book a consultation or explore my coaching tiers at:
🔗 www.fearlesslyauthenticoach.com

You don’t have to carry it all alone. Let’s build something that feels like you.

With heart,
Raeanna