Letting Go of Expectations and Choosing Intention Instead

There are days when I sit down to write, and everything just feels… off. My brain’s foggy, my emotions are heavy, and nothing I write feels like it lands. That was me this week. I actually wrote a bunch of content before stopping mid-sentence, realizing I didn’t even know what I was trying to say.

And honestly, that’s where this reflection began.

Because what I really wanted to talk about – what I needed to talk about – wasn’t what I had planned at all. Instead of forcing a topic about self-love or “going easy on yourself” for Valentine’s season, I decided to get real about what was actually showing up for me: expectations.

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The Weight of Expectation

Expectations sneak in everywhere: how we think others should act, how we believe an event “should” go, how we expect ourselves to perform, show up, or achieve. And when those expectations aren’t met (which is often), we’re left with disappointment, frustration, or self-blame.

When you expect someone to respond or behave a certain way, you’re giving them power over your experience. You’re putting your emotions in their hands, and that almost always leads to disempowerment. But when you shift from expectation to intention, everything changes.

Intentions are open-ended. They focus on how you want to show up, not on what you want others to do or how you want things to turn out.

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From Expectation to Intention

Let’s take a familiar example: competition.
If you walk into a pageant expecting to win, you’re setting yourself up for a binary outcome: success or failure. If you don’t win, the disappointment feels personal, like you somehow fell short. But if you walk in with the intention to be fully present, to perform at your best, to connect, to learn – the outcome doesn’t define you.

You leave fulfilled, not because of a result, but because of how you chose to show up.

The same is true in everyday life. Whether it’s work, relationships, or a goal you’re chasing, intention focuses on the process: the energy you bring, the growth you allow, the grace you give yourself.

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Releasing Control and Finding Freedom

Expectations are heavy. They’re rooted in control; trying to shape how others act or how life unfolds. Intention, on the other hand, is rooted in trust. It’s the belief that you can handle whatever happens. That you are capable, adaptable, and strong enough to navigate what comes your way.

When you stop expecting people to meet your standards or life to follow your script, you make space for gratitude, curiosity, and peace. You stop being a victim of disappointment and start being a participant in your own experience.

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The 10% Rule

Something that’s really helped me recently is a reframe I heard:

“If all you had to give today was 10%, and you gave that 10%, then you gave 100% of what you had.”

That hit me hard.

Because there are days when I’m not at my best. When the laundry isn’t folded, the workout doesn’t happen, the to-do list isn’t checked off, and I feel like I’m falling behind. But if I gave all I could that day, even if it was just 10%, I still gave my best.

That mindset shift brings so much freedom. It helps me release the shame of not doing “enough” and celebrate the effort I did give.

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Practice Self-Love by Releasing Expectation

As we head into a season that’s all about love, consider this:
What if one of the most loving things you could do for yourself was to release the weight of expectation?

To stop expecting perfection from yourself.
To stop expecting people to meet you exactly where you are.
To stop expecting life to go a certain way.

And instead, move forward with intention. Show up as you are, do what you can, and trust that it’s enough.

So, check in with yourself:

• Where are you holding unrealistic expectations?
• Where can you shift from control to curiosity?
• How can you replace expectation with intention?

Because when you do, you’ll find that peace doesn’t come from having everything go right… it comes from knowing you’re doing your best, even when things don’t.

Give yourself grace this week. Let “enough” be enough.
You’re doing beautifully, even when it feels messy.

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Key Takeaway:
When you release expectations and choose intention, you reclaim your peace, your power, and your presence.

Bottom line:
Perfection isn’t the goal, presence is. Give what you can, love who you are, and know that 10% on your hardest days is still 100% of your heart.