How to Support a Competitor During Pageant Week (and What NOT to Do)

Competition week is a beautiful, chaotic mix of excitement, nerves, adrenaline, pride, reflection, and every emotion in between.
Whether you’re a competitor yourself or supporting someone who is, understanding how to navigate competition week is critical.

Because how you show up for yourself — or for someone else — can make all the difference.

Today, I want to walk you through:

• What’s really happening behind the scenes of competition week
  
• What to NEVER do as a supporter
  
• How to be the kind of support that actually helps
  

Whether you’re preparing to compete, coaching, parenting, or cheering from the audience, this will change the way you show up — and help you enjoy the experience even more.

---

Competition Week: What It Actually Feels Like

First, let’s be honest about competition week.
It’s not all glam, rhinestones, and perfect moments.

It’s:

• Overstimulating — so much happening at once.
  
• Emotionally intense — joy, stress, hope, fear, pride, uncertainty… sometimes all in the same hour.
  
• Physically exhausting — adrenaline only carries you so far before fatigue hits.
  
• Mentally draining — managing expectations, self-talk, logistics, performances, and interactions nonstop.
  

And here’s the thing: that’s normal.

It’s beautiful and overwhelming.
It’s fulfilling and exhausting.
It’s every dream and every doubt all at once.

You can be thrilled about competing — and still have moments where you just need to sit on the floor with a box of fries and cry it out.
(If you know, you know.)

---

If You’re Supporting a Competitor: Here’s What NOT to Do

You love them.
You want the best for them.
You’re proud of them.

But sometimes, even well-meaning support can unintentionally hurt.
Here’s what not to do during competition week:

🚫 Don’t say “You should win” or “It’s yours to lose.”

• It puts unrealistic pressure on them.
  
• It ties their worth to an outcome they can’t fully control.
  
• It creates guilt, shame, or disappointment if the results don’t match expectations.
  

🚫 Don’t trash-talk other contestants.

• It’s unnecessary negativity that fuels insecurity.
  
• Every woman on that stage is worthy and capable in her own way.
  

🚫 Don’t complain about the organization, production, or logistics.

• It’s not helpful.
  
• Focus on supporting your contestant’s experience, not fueling frustration.
  

🚫 Don’t ask, “What do you think the outcome will be?”

• This feeds anxiety and self-doubt.
  
• Their job is to stay focused on their performance and mission, not predict results.
  

🚫 Don’t give unsolicited advice.

• Unless they ask, let them process their performance their own way.
  

🚫 Don’t hover or smother.

• They need space to breathe, decompress, and experience the week fully.
  

🚫 Don’t assume you know how they’re feeling.

• Always ask.
  
• Emotions shift constantly throughout the week.
  

---

What Actually Helps: How to Be a Rock-Solid Supporter

Here’s the good news:
Being a great supporter is simpler than you think.

✅ Say things like:

• “I’m proud of you.”
  
• “It’s so fun cheering you on.”
  
• “You inspire me.”
  

✅ Ask open-ended, positive questions:

• “What’s been your favorite part of the week so far?”
  
• “How are you feeling today?”
  

✅ Give practical, simple support:

• Notes, cards, small gifts, reminders of your love and belief in them.
  

✅ Create emotional space:

• Let them process.
  
• Let them experience the highs and lows without judgment.
  

✅ Validate their feelings without trying to fix them:

• “It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling.”
  
• “You’re doing amazing no matter what happens.”
  

✅ Celebrate the experience, not just the outcome.

---

A Final Word to Competitors

Remember:

• Your supporters mean well — give them grace.
  
• Set boundaries respectfully if you need space.
  
• Express gratitude. Always.
  

And above all:
Your placement does not define you.
Your character does.

Whether you win the crown or not, if you’ve grown, challenged yourself, and showed up authentically — you’ve already won.

---

The Bigger Picture

Competition week can be one of the most transformative experiences of your life.
Not because of the results, but because of who you become through it.

Supporters:
You’re part of that journey. Your love, your encouragement, and your ability to simply be there make more of a difference than you know.

Contestants:
You’re already enough. Trust the work you’ve done. Trust yourself.

And no matter what happens — onward and upward.