Navigating Expectations, Conflict, and Communication as a Titleholder (and Beyond)

Pageantry isn’t just about the crown — it’s about who you become in the process.
And one of the most important (but least talked about) parts of being a titleholder?
Communication. Conflict resolution. Relationship management.

Today, I want to dive deep into the real skills every titleholder — and every leader — needs to thrive:

• How to build relationships
  
• How to manage conflict respectfully
  
• How to handle being misunderstood
  
• How to lead with professionalism and authenticity
  

Because these are the skills that will serve you far beyond the stage.

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Behind the Glamour: Titleholders Are Constantly Communicating

Being a titleholder isn’t just about stage presence.
It’s text messages, emails, appearances, media requests, conversations with directors, volunteers, and sponsors — constantly communicating.

It’s rewarding.
It’s exciting.
And sometimes, it’s overwhelming.

There will be times when you don’t know what to say.
There will be times when emotions run high.
There will be times when misunderstandings happen — even when your intentions are good.

And that’s why building real communication skills matters so much.

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Your Inner Circle: Why It Matters and How to Protect It

One of the first lessons I share with clients is the importance of defining your inner circle — the people you trust most to support you.

Your inner circle should be:

• Small (fewer than 10 people)
  
• Trustworthy
  
• Supportive without enabling negativity
  
• Clear about how they can best support you
  

Not everyone needs to be in your inner circle.
And that’s okay.

Identify who brings different strengths to your life:

• Someone for comfort
  
• Someone for strategic advice
  
• Someone for tough love when you need it
  

Build your circle intentionally, and be clear about what kind of support you need — especially during busy, emotional seasons like state or national competition.

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Emotions Drive Communication

Miscommunication often happens because of emotions, not words.
Here’s why:

• 55% of communication is body language
  
• 38% is tone of voice
  
• Only 7% is the actual words
  

When your emotions are high, your nonverbal and vocal communication often say more than your words.

That’s why emotional regulation is crucial.
Before sending a text, responding to an email, or having a difficult conversation:

• Pause.
  
• Breathe.
  
• Self-soothe.
  
• Get into a neutral headspace.
  

Reacting from heightened emotion often causes more conflict — and creates regret later.

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Building Relationships Before You Need Them

One of the biggest missed opportunities titleholders experience?
Waiting until there’s a conflict to build relationships.

Start early:

• Get to know your directors and volunteers
  
• Share who you are and learn who they are
  
• Build connection before stress hits
  

You don’t have to be best friends.
But when mutual respect and understanding exist first, conflict later will be easier to navigate — and misunderstandings will be less likely.

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Assumptions vs. Communication

The fastest way to destroy relationships? Assumptions.

The healthiest way to build them? Clarity and conversation.

Never assume someone’s intentions, emotions, or expectations.
Ask questions. Clarify. Confirm.

When you remove assumptions, you make space for actual connection — not imagined resentment.

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Conflict Is Inevitable — Growth Is Optional

Conflict isn’t a sign that something is wrong.
Conflict is a sign that people care about the outcome.

What matters is how you handle it.

In healthy conflict:

• You seek to understand the other side
  
• You own your mistakes
  
• You prioritize respectful resolution
  
• You don’t escalate — you regulate
  

Sometimes, you will be misunderstood even when you do everything “right.”
That’s part of leadership.
It’s part of life.

When that happens:

• Take ownership where needed.
  
• Release the rest with grace.
  

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Professionalism and Respect Are Always Your Responsibility

It doesn’t matter if the other person is rude, reactive, or unprofessional.
You are still responsible for your professionalism, your communication, and your respect.

You can:

• Set clear boundaries without being cruel
  
• Advocate for yourself without attacking others
  
• Stand strong in your integrity, even if others don’t understand it
  

This is where true emotional intelligence shows up — and where you set yourself apart as a real leader, not just a titleholder.

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Final Thoughts

Pageantry is a mirror for real life.
How you handle conflict, communication, relationships, and respect as a titleholder will echo far beyond your year of service.

Here’s what I want you to remember:

• Build your inner circle intentionally.
  
• Regulate your emotions before you communicate.
  
• Assume nothing — clarify everything.
  
• Own your mistakes and let go of misconceptions.
  
• Lead with grace, even when it’s hard.
  

Because at the end of the day, your crown may be temporary — but your character is forever.